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Buddhist Views On Sex And Masturbation


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16 replies to this topic

#1
RetJoSek

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Hi guys, so my ex and her family were buddhist. She wasn't really a strict Buddhist where her family was. Being young and experimental we were very sexually active, we had to keep any sexual activity at all a secret from her family. Sooner or later they found out and reacted badly, it seemed that it wasn't as much the sex activities; more masturbation. So I am here to ask what is the Buddhist viewpoint on sex and masturbation?

Thank you.



#2
unarmedthinker

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Buddhists do not masturbate and masturbation is frowned upon because it is seeking pleasure from sexual activity. You can also become addicted to masturbation, another reason why it is frowned upon.

 

I don't see a problem with it if you are not a monk, her family must have been really strict because it's not a big issue in buddhism.



#3
Treighsie

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So do buddhists frown upon all sex? 



#4
Jatelo2

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I thought that Buddhist societies are one of the most sexually liberal in the world. I hear of temple prostitutes and such likes. Are you saying they are strict about sex?! More information please...


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#5
Jessi

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It varies a lot actually. There are a lot of grey areas and things that are open to interpretation. For example: 

 

It can also be argued that even for a layperson, 

excessive focus on sexual pleasure by any means can be said to be not following the middle path.. However, this needn't necessarily apply to moderate and healthy sexual stimulation, according to many traditions. Buddhism also stresses the importance of compassion and mindfullness, so it is theoretically possible that if masturbation would allow for one to abstain from greater sexual misconduct which may harm another sentient being, it is permissible and even encourageable under the circumstances.

 

http://en.wikipedia....bation#Buddhism



#6
SteeelWoool

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I believe that would classify as a worldly pleasure, and that is a no no. But, sex is of course necessary to reproduce, so no religion can truly "ban" it. Those temple prostitutes you speak of Jatelo2 sound like they go against everything Buddhism teaches, can you give a source on that?



#7
Anna Usorova

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Many religions and many sins are based upon the fact that if something pleasures you too much to the point where you can be addicted this causes other people to look down on you and then eventually they will think this is completely wrong.
Therefore I consider this a very conservative religion just because of these morals and values and rules that they have.
I am not surprised that their views on this are so frowned upon no matter how much you try to make them seem alright.

#8
RetJoSek

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Buddhists do not masturbate and masturbation is frowned upon because it is seeking pleasure from sexual activity. You can also become addicted to masturbation, another reason why it is frowned upon.

 

I don't see a problem with it if you are not a monk, her family must have been really strict because it's not a big issue in buddhism.

 

Her family are really strict and restricting in everyway, in fact that's why our relationship fell apart. You are correct with the addiction to masturbation (she actually was, but her family didn't know that (or at least I don't think they did)). So in the Buddhist religion it is frowned upon; but not really enforced in the modern world?



#9
RetJoSek

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I believe that would classify as a worldly pleasure, and that is a no no. But, sex is of course necessary to reproduce, so no religion can truly "ban" it. Those temple prostitutes you speak of Jatelo2 sound like they go against everything Buddhism teaches, can you give a source on that?

But we were both young so I mean it was solely pleasure. (she was much more sexual than me, but her family didn't know that)... I agree with you on the last part, it really doesn't sound correct, however, after doing some reading up, and from my experience it seems to be true...



#10
R. Paradon

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My understanding is that sex or anything else that is non-violent is ok as long as it does not cause suffering ~ mental or physical.


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#11
R. Paradon

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I thought that Buddhist societies are one of the most sexually liberal in the world. I hear of temple prostitutes and such likes. Are you saying they are strict about sex?! More information please...

 

Jatelo,  I hope that you really do not believe that.  I have been a practicing Buddhist for more than 40 years and have been residing in Thailand which is a Buddhist country for the past six years.  I have never heard or seen such a deviate temple such as you describe.  As I am retired with plenty of time to travel, if you have heard of one in Thailand, I will go and investigate.  I really do not think they exist...and if they do, they should not use the Buddha's name in conjunction with them because they are absolutely not Buddhist.


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#12
RetJoSek

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My understanding is that sex or anything else that is non-violent is ok as long as it does not cause suffering ~ mental or physical.

 

Thanks for the answer, that is always how I thought the Buddhist view on such activities was, and I am glad to see I was atleast partially correct.

 

This is rather random but from the post above you say about living in Thailand, you don't happen to live in Chiang Mai do you? (I'm asking because with my university I will be doing semesters in countries of my choosing and I was considering Chiang Mai university (I've always been interested in traveling to Asia, and Thailand seems perfect). Cheers.



#13
Sandra Piddock

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My understanding is that sex or anything else that is non-violent is ok as long as it does not cause suffering ~ mental or physical.

 

That's my understanding too. Sex between two consenting adults who are not in exclusive relationships is not harmful, and therefore not a problem. And masturbation in order to relieve sexual tensions is surely preferable to inappropriate sexual conduct which may, as Richard points out, cause suffering on one level or another.


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#14
ongoing

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It depends on the Buddhist, just like it depends on the Christian or anything else. Most people I know who call themselves Buddhists are actually pretty sexually free. There are a million different interpretations of any religion.



#15
R. Paradon

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Thanks for the answer, that is always how I thought the Buddhist view on such activities was, and I am glad to see I was atleast partially correct.

 

This is rather random but from the post above you say about living in Thailand, you don't happen to live in Chiang Mai do you? (I'm asking because with my university I will be doing semesters in countries of my choosing and I was considering Chiang Mai university (I've always been interested in traveling to Asia, and Thailand seems perfect). Cheers.

 

Chaing Mai is a very nice location for going to school.  The weather is a bit cooler there.  I live in Pattaya which is about 80 miles north from Bangkok and there is no university here as it is mainly a tourist city.

 

Please feel free to pm me with any questions regarding Thailand that you may have.


If I make one person smile or feel better every day then I have done my job as a human.

#16
warmweatherwoman

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This reason would be what shys me aways from really being devoted to any religion.  I hate how sex is talked about as if it is something dirty.  Scientists STILL to this day have not found a reason behind a womans orgasam...that says alot..it means it only happens for PLEASURE...hint hint!  



#17
bryan cassidy

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I love the buddhist tradition but have a different viewpoint on it.  I think the whole idea of limiting pleasure is a terrible one.  While it's true that it's possible to become addicted to masturbation and sex, it's also true that it's possible to become addicted to meditating and exercise.  If we are to learn how to become free of suffering, why would we want to limit pleasure.  I think the idea of forbidding monks, or anyone from that matter, from sexual pleasure is absurd.






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